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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27320248">never cool down love</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/TrinityEverett/pseuds/TrinityEverett'>TrinityEverett</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Castle</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Castle Halloween Bash, Castle Halloween Bash 2020, F/M, Romance, Supernatural Elements, Vampire AU</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-11-01</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-11-12</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-18 10:52:57</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>7</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>9,714</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/27320248</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/TrinityEverett/pseuds/TrinityEverett</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Kate Beckett has a dangerous secret and she isn't sure what terrifies her more: the possibility that her partner will run if he finds out, or the possibility that he won't. Caskett, AU Fic, Castle Halloween Bash 2020</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Kate Beckett/Richard Castle</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>38</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>81</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Chapter 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <strong>never cool down love</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>an AU, Halloween-themed tale for the Castle Halloween Bash 2020</strong>
</p><hr/><p>Exhausted doesn't truly begin to cover the way she feels and she's more aware than most how tired one can get, how worn the body can become, how desperate one can be when that happens. She isn't to that point yet, but after two days on-shift with only minimal breaks, she's pushing the boundaries of her own control, her own limits.</p><p>Which means it's time for her to get inside and block out the world for a little while. Just until she's able to feel the tension in her neck release, until the thought of being around someone else doesn't fill her system with waves of unbridled agony.</p><p>She doesn't get like this often; she has learned over the years where her limits are, how long she can go without losing control. No, she just needs a night to rest, to breathe – so to speak – and decompress.</p><p>And to feed.</p><p>That's a large part of it, she knows; it's been days since she'd last truly eaten. Even before pulling the endless shift. And though she hasn't hit her hard limit yet, the longer she goes without feeding, the closer she gets to it. She's nearly there now, teetering on the cusp of the point of no return. The point she hasn't allowed herself to grace in twelve years, not since she was shiny and new and – stupid – and not at all in charge of who and what she is now. One slip in twelve years and she doesn't intend to break that streak.</p><p>She doesn't feed on humans, hasn't since that first year, but at times like this she can understand why others like her do. Why they give in to the heady pulsing beat against their lips, the warm rush of blood on their tongues. That yearning is always there, but she's able to control it, harness it, except when her reserves dip so low, except when she –</p><p>Cutting off her own thoughts, the feeble justifications she's making to herself, Beckett rushes past the last of her neighbors, offering nothing more than a few curt smiles.</p><p>Cool metal and the heavy thud of her apartment door offer solace, protection, giving her the opportunity to just breathe (such as she does) and center herself enough to make it on shaky legs over to her refrigerator and dig out a bag from underneath the veggie drawer.</p><p>The first splash on her tongue brings familiar bliss, forces the tense coil of her muscles to ease, relaxing a little more with every pull from the bag. The thrum in her ears grows softer and the bone-deep sense of desperation begins to fade.</p><p>Kate slumps against the counter, sinking to the floor in relief. She exhales after a moment, letting her head drop back to the cabinet.</p><p>Letting it get that bad hadn't been in her plan.</p><p>Not that she truly has a plan beyond going about her business each day and living her life, but she still has to protect herself. Getting close to snapping like she had? Doesn't help her accomplish that.</p><p>The paper on the carpet just inside the door catches her eye as she's getting to her feet to start the process of disposing of her empty blood bag. She's not surprised that she'd missed it when she came in and she doesn't rush to snatch it up either. It's probably just another takeout menu, or a note from the super reminding everyone to send their garbage down the chute instead of leaving it beside the door or take it outside to the second dumpster if the thing is full. Either way, she'll grab it after she has cleaned up and taken care of the rest of her chores.</p><p>Years of practice have made the process of disposing of the blood bags simple. She cuts the bag open first, rinsing any lingering blood down the drain, then makes quick work of shredding the rest of the plastic. The pieces go into the bottom of two trash cans and the scissors, sink, and her hands receive a thorough scrubbing. Not for the first time, it occurs to her that, outside of any context, she looks like a murderer covering her tracks. (She tries not to think about the fact that she has learned dozens of what not to do tricks from the people she's put away over the years.) No doubt, Castle would find that both hilarious and ironic.</p><p>Beckett shakes her head at herself. All too often her thoughts turn to him, to what he might be doing or what he might think if he knew. Whether it would change his feelings.</p><p>He's been close to finding out before, guessing just a little too much, but he's always veered off into absurdity and spectacle and hasn't quite gotten to the reality of the situation. He likes the crackpot theories just fine, or he at least pretends to – half the time she's convinced he just pretends to believe to get a rise out of her – but she wouldn't blame him for turning and fleeing as fast as he can if he finds out the truth.</p><p>Then again, knowing her partner…</p><p>She isn't sure what terrifies her more: the possibility that he'll run if he finds out, or the possibility that he won't.</p><p>Exhaling, she gives her head a shake. It's neither here nor there right now; he doesn't know, and she's not inclined to spill her secrets tonight.</p><p>She grabs the paper after making it through roughly half of the pile of dishes in the sink, forgoing the rest in favor of taking it easy on the couch. Everything else can wait for a few hours – or until tomorrow – when she gets home from the precinct. Tonight is about resting and regaining her strength, replenishing her reserves. And maybe watching a little TV, too. If she's feeling better in an hour or two, she'll consider grabbing one of Castle's books from her shelf and immersing herself in one of his worlds for a little while.</p><p>His words have been a comfort to her for so long, providing normalcy when her world was completely upside down. When she'd been alone and scared. When her mother's murder and her father's descent into the bottle had led her to make decisions that completely changed the trajectory of her life – by causing her death. Castle's works had given her something normal to hold on to in the aftermath and confusion of being turned.</p><p>He had given her fictional happy endings when she'd lost all hope for one for herself.</p><p>The paper flutters to the center cushion of the couch, slipping from her fingers as she catches sight of the single typed line, just five words, on the page:</p><p><em>I know what you are</em>.</p><hr/><p>
  <em>Thank you for reading! This will be a short little multichapter that I hope to have posted over the next few days, even after the Halloween Bash concludes.</em>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Chapter 2</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <strong>never cool down love - Chapter Two</strong>
</p>
<hr/><p>Unsurprisingly, the books and movies had lied, or at the very least not told the whole story.</p><p>Sure, there are elements of truth to each of the tales – Bram Stoker, Lord Byron, hell even <em>Dark Shadows</em> got some things right – but for the most part, much of the lore is just gross exaggeration. Even the little details aren't totally right. Sunlight is uncomfortable for her, but not fatal, and her skin is cool to the touch, pale as well, but it doesn't carry the icy pallor of death. She breathes – sort of; it's more like muscle memory, a phantom movement of her chest instead of actual respiration. There's still blood in her body, but her system doesn't need it to live. The same goes for food: she can and does eat, and her face doesn't contort into some grotesque parody of the human anatomy when she does (though her teeth do extend when she feeds), but there's a hunger inside that can only be satisfied with blood; everything else is set dressing.</p><p>She also doesn't hate or find herself repelled by garlic, salt, or crucifixes. She has a reflection in the mirror and doesn't sparkle, unless one counts her 2002-2003 body glitter phase. All things considered, she's as "normal" as she can be, given that she's considered to be undead. She lives much the same way she did before she was turned; she will just live far longer than anyone she knows, aging much slower than she normally would. She doesn't have superhuman strength, she's unable to fly or burst through walls, she just has heightened senses – senses she happily uses to her advantage to catch killers.</p><p>Still, she's not exactly keen to shout her secret from the rooftops; at best people would laugh and assume she's screwing with them, at worst, they would have her committed. To regular people, there's no such thing as the undead – vampires, if she allows herself to use the popular term – and if they did believe, people would cower in fear or go on the offensive, they wouldn't stop to understand what it means to be her or what she does to avoid harming anyone. She doesn't necessarily blame them for their skepticism; before she was changed, she didn't believe either and it took months for her to accept her transformation and even longer for her to figure out how to move forward in absolute secrecy.</p><p>Even her father doesn't know. At the time he had been too entrenched in his own grief over her mother to notice the changes in her, and if he had all she would have needed to do was point to Johanna's murder to explain her behavior. By the time he came back to himself, she had learned to imitate normal, to mitigate the discomfort of the sun with the proper wardrobe, and even to feed herself without harming anyone. She almost told him when she was shot and recovering, when everything was a live wire of raw agony and she hadn't been able to feed, she almost begged him for help. She's still not sure if she regrets keeping the secret from him; she doesn't regret the walk in the woods and the animal she'd found to help herself stay alive. That's all she's tried to do, stay alive.</p><p>And she's been fine for years. She has endured Lanie's teasing about her non-existent love life, she has done just enough team building with the boys to feel normal, and she hasn't had a problem. Even with Castle's arrival and the attention that <em>Heat Wave</em>, <em>Naked Heat</em> and <em>Heat Rises</em> have sent her way, she's managed to keep her nature under wraps. She's laughed off her shadow-turned-partner's comments on and around Halloween (and whenever they catch a case that he feels is even the slightest bit spooky) and shied away from letting him get too close, even when her heart has begged her to do so. To let him in and let herself feel. She knows she can't, though.</p><p>For the first time in a long time, she feels a prickle of unease. Has she slipped up somehow? Revealed too much about herself to someone? She's had an agreement with her supplier for the blood for years, could they have decided to cash in with a gossip rag because she's in Castle's orbit? Or is it all a crank, something unrelated to her nature? As strange as it sounds, that would be the best potential option.</p><p>She's been on the receiving end of scorn and ridicule before. She'd heard the names they called her at the academy, been privy to the whispers that she was getting the marks she was because she offered her instructors "favors." The comments hadn't stopped when she graduated and rose through the rank as an officer and then a detective. She'd been called a bitch, a slut, a narc, a captain's pet, and dozens of other original and unoriginal insults. It's entirely possible that that's all this note is about, too.</p><p>Kate Beckett is a damn good detective and she's made enemies because of it, even in her own department. There was the sergeant from robbery that took issue with her team taking the lead on an investigation last month. There was the jackass at the 2-7 who'd expected her to be fine with him "accidentally" brushing her ass with his hand after a prisoner transfer. She isn't exactly warm and fuzzy when she's on the job and everyone knows it, so what better way to rattle her than something like this? Yes, that's all there is to it. Bullshit from someone she's pissed off, but harmless.</p><p>(She ignores the voice at the back of her head that reminds her of Scott Dunn and his obsession with Nikki Heat. He hadn't been harmless. But also hadn't had any idea about her, hadn't known what she is when he put the bomb in her apartment; his obsession had been just that, an obsession.</p><p>That's the closest Castle has come to finding out, too. Thankfully, she had fed before she got in the shower that night, and she'd left his apartment before she'd needed to feed again. If she hadn't, she doesn't know how that conversation would've gone.)</p><p>Kate shakes her head, forcing her thoughts back to the issue at hand. Harmless or no, she makes a point to double bag her garbage, waiting until the world around her is asleep and taking the bags with the shredded refuse of her meal out in shifts. She considers tossing the typed note in along with it, but that she handles with a bit more care, placing it in a manila folder and sliding it into the top drawer of her desk. Whether it's something sinister or a disgruntled fellow cop (which could pose a problem of its own), she needs to keep it safe and hidden, just as a precaution.</p><p>She's not worried, not really. She's just being cautious because she can't afford not to be, nothing more than that.</p>
<hr/><p>
  <em>Thank you for reading! Until next chapter, everyone!</em>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Chapter 3</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <strong>never cool down love - Chapter Three</strong>
</p><hr/><p>Two nights later, Kate makes her way through the hallway of her apartment building with her phone to her ear. Castle had initially called to offer some – ahem – interesting insights into their current case, but the last few minutes have just been the two of them going back and forth, trading stupid jokes and teasing one another. She'd been frustrated and annoyed when she left the precinct for the night, but that has passed with every laugh he's pulled from her.</p><p>"It's the perfect cover, Beckett, I'm telling you."</p><p>She snorts. "You keep saying that, and each time it sounds more like bullshit, Castle."</p><p>He chuckles into the phone. "No, I think it's great. You just have to open your mind."</p><p>Beckett purses her lips, wondering again what he would say if she offered up proof of how open her mind really is. How open would his mind be?</p><p>"Mmm, maybe I'm just hoping you'll convince me," she hums, the flirtation slipping past her filter before she can stop it. They've been doing more of that recently, dancing on the line but never letting themselves cross it. She's all-too cognizant of his confession, his rushed pleas for her to stay with him, his desperation for her to love him back. She does, of course she does, but the last thing he needs is to get dragged any deeper into her world than he already is.</p><p>"I'm game," he says quickly. "I can be there in fifteen minutes."</p><p>Her steps falter at the sight of a corner sticking out from underneath her door as she rounds the corner. Whatever response she'd had on her tongue slips away as she looks around the hall. It's empty. Her closest neighbor's door is closed up tight, no hint of light coming from inside. She listens for a moment, hearing nothing that would indicate they're awake.</p><p>"Beckett?" Castle asks.</p><p>"I – ah, sorry. Sorry." She shoves her key into the lock, pushing her door open with more force than probably necessary. The paper crunches under her heel. "Just getting inside."</p><p>"Oh good, you're home. I'm about to –"</p><p>"No, you won't," she says. "Stay home, write. Talk to Alexis. If you show up here, you'll be sitting outside."</p><p>She doesn't mean it, of course; she lets him in whether she plans to or not. Besides, he would annoy her neighbors and she likes the fact that they leave her alone too much to draw attention to herself that way.</p><p>"Spoilsport," he murmurs, making her lips lift again. "See you tomorrow?"</p><p>Kate drags her teeth over her lip. He had annoyed her so badly in the early days, but over their years together, she's come to rely on his quiet optimism that at the end of each night, a tomorrow will dawn.</p><p>"See you tomorrow, Castle."</p><p>He hums in her ear. "And if you change your mind…"</p><p>"Good night," she insists, giving her eyes an affectionate roll when she hangs up the phone. Whether he'd meant for it to or not, the conversation had lifted her spirits and a part of her does wish that he'd insisted upon coming over, if only for a little while.</p><p>She eyes the paper waiting in her doorway, finding herself grateful that Castle isn't here to see it. He would absolutely ask questions she isn't prepared to answer and even questions she doesn't even know the answer to. It's not a menu, that's obvious. Any attempt to talk herself into believing that fails in an instant. The paper looks to be the same as the previous note; it's the same crisp white, nothing out of the ordinary. No discernable scent on it to indicate where it might have been written, nothing that sticks out at all. If she didn't know that it's not just a flyer, she would think nothing of it. But this time she knows better.</p><p>Curiosity gets the better of her, despite her desire to walk around her apartment and ignore its very existence. She snatches the page off the floor and carries it to her coffee table, kicking off her shoes and slumping back onto her couch. The paper sits on the table unattended for a few minutes as she contemplates what she might read.</p><p>No sane cop would risk their badge by harassing another detective like this; the likelihood of it being someone on the job was already slim to start with and the chances of that being the explanation have shrunk considerably. It <em>could</em> still be a prank, but that's improbable at best; there aren't that many families in her building, especially not with teenagers or the age group who might be willing to put notes like this under someone's door. Which leaves the final option, the worst-case scenario she's been avoiding considering.</p><p>
  <em>Hide all you want. It doesn't change what you are.</em>
</p><p>As with the first note, this one is neatly typed and unsigned, giving her nothing to indicate the identity of the sender. There are no marks on the page, no smudges of ink or oil from someone's skin that she can see. Whoever it is knows at least a little bit about what they're doing; they must have worn gloves when handling the paper.</p><p>After another minute of staring and considering her next move – short of getting other people involved, she's not so sure she actually has one – Beckett rubs her forehead, getting to her feet and moving to her desk. Grabbing the folder where she had stashed the first note, she opens it up and compares the two pieces of paper. Same typeface, size, margins, everything she can tell at first glance. The ink looks to be the same color as well, or at least the same general saturation level.</p><p>They're both nondescript. And since they'd been hand-delivered without envelopes, she's certain there hadn't been a third-party handler, nor any possible way to get DNA. Short of starting surveillance on her apartment door (or telling her Super that she needs video of the front door to see if she can spot anyone suspicious or out of the ordinary coming in and out of the building – which she won't do, because again, that would open her up to questions), it's a nonstarter. Exactly what whoever it is that sent them wants.</p><p>The second note joins the first in the folder before she snaps it shut, and the whole thing gets shoved into the bottom drawer of her desk, underneath the copies of the last six years of her tax returns. Out of sight.</p><p>(Putting it out of her mind is a different story entirely.)</p><hr/><p>
  <em>Thank you for your wonderful comments and your enthusiasm for this story! I appreciate you so, so much. Until next chapter!</em>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Chapter 4</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <strong>never cool down love - Chapter Four</strong>
</p><hr/><p>He's not trying to snoop – okay, he is trying to snoop, but not for anything other than more information on what makes Kate Beckett tick (and that's more of an ongoing mission instead of a singular event, really). He loves a good mystery (he loves her) and even after this long, she is still a beautiful mystery – but the stack of notes he finds on her desk stops him in his tracks.</p><p>Page after page of ominous words, making thinly veiled threats. He doesn't understand them at all, but the tone alone makes the hair on the back of his neck stand up. He has read enough of his fan mail to know when a letter is empty words and when it isn't and these… these are not empty words. These are threats.</p><p>"Castle, did you fi-"</p><p>He jolts, holding the papers to his chest as he spins around. He had showed up at her apartment with thoughts on the case, pulling her into a discussion which turned into a theory building session – complete with her insistence that he look for her case notes on her desk. Instead he had found something else.</p><p>Beckett's eyes narrow. "Castle?"</p><p>"I…" he starts. "I got distracted. On the desk, you said? I was looking but I didn't see-"</p><p>"Distracted by what?"</p><p>"Um."</p><p>He looks down at the bundle in his hands. "Just… thinking. Thinking about Halloween this year. You know, I didn't even start decorating until yest-"</p><p>She strides closer, yanking the papers from his hands and reaching around him to lift the notebook off the desktop and press it to his chest. "This is what you were looking for. You've seen it a hundred times."</p><p>He nods, swiping his tongue over his lips. "What's going on, Kate?" he asks.</p><p>"You supposedly had a breakthrough and spoiled my quiet evening drinking wine and reading a book," she drawls. "And then you decided to go through my desk and my personal things."</p><p>Any other time he might let it go, but having read at least a few of the letters, he has to know. If this is about her mother's case – if she's investigating and this is someone's attempt at getting her to back off… he needs to know. "That's not what I'm talking about."</p><p>Beckett ignores him, putting the papers back into a cream-colored folder and shoving it haphazardly underneath a book of plays he'd loaned her a year and a half ago. She points to the dining room. "Food's here. Take my notebook inside and get started."</p><p>"Beckett," he tries again, following her when she turns on her heel and leaves. "Beckett, those are <em>threats</em>. Why are you getting threats?"</p><p>"They're not threats, Castle," she says automatically, not even looking back. "They're some stupid prank, some idiot spewing nonsense that sounds tough. Nothing to be worried about."</p><p>He doesn't believe that. If it were nothing to be worried about, she would've just thrown the notes away and never looked back. If it were just a prank, she wouldn't have kept them in a file on her desk. She's an investigator, through and through, and she knows to document everything, including the possible escalation of things like this.</p><p>"Hey," she calls after a moment, her voice softer. "It's nothing to be worried about, Castle."</p><p>Rick studies her face as he closes the distance between them, taking in the clarity in her eyes, the hint of color in her cheeks. She cocks her head, allowing her lips to lift at the corners.</p><p>"I mean it," she insists, reaching out to touch his arms. "This is… just some stupid thing."</p><p>"You'd tell me if it's not? If there were anything to worry about? If it were about a case?" he adds, trying to sound casual about the last part.</p><p>"It's not about a case," she assures. "It's…" her voice grows soft. "There's nothing to worry about."</p><p>He's not sure he believes her about that last part, not after what he'd read, but at least he's convinced that whatever this is, it's not about her mom's case.</p><p>He just isn't sure if that makes it better or worse, but it puts him on the alert, that's for sure.</p><hr/><p>There's no mistaking the look on her face when they step up to a crime scene the next day, though. The wash of horror that floods her features and drains the blood from her face.</p><p>He turns to look at the body, studying the victim for anything that would cause this reaction in his partner but all he sees is a man, pale and broken, lying sprawled on the pavement. Castle doesn't recognize him, doesn't see any reason Beckett would recognize him, but he sees her swallow hard and straighten her shoulders. Her professional mask slides back in place a moment later and she turns to her fellow detectives and Perlmutter, nodding for them to begin.</p><p>"What do you have for me?"</p><p>Castle listens with half an ear, using the time to survey the area. The alley isn't as dirty as some that he's been in for a body drop and he mostly attributes that to the fact that there are shops on either side instead of restaurants. Then again, it's not exactly a paradise either, given that there's a dead body beside the recycling bins.</p><p>Nothing that would explain Beckett's horror, though. She sees worse almost daily, in fact. But today something is different, something has her rattled.</p><p>She covers it well, but he's in tune with the Beckett tells; the way she brushes her hair behind her ear as she thinks, the thin line she has pressed her lips into while Perlmutter speaks. She's preoccupied, barely listening, and he sees the way her eyes keep skimming the victim's body, looking for something.</p><p>After a minute, she nods, thanking Perlmutter for his time. To Ryan and Esposito, she adds, "Take a ride to his place; if nobody's home, start running down a next of kin to make the notification. Castle and I will look around here."</p><p>Ryan and Esposito share a look. Their surprise isn't necessarily unwarranted; usually Beckett makes the home visit and notification. They nod, though, turning to leave.</p><p>"Meet you back at the precinct, boss."</p><p>Beckett nods in return, moving toward the far end of the alley. Castle follows, keeping his eyes on her this time.</p><p>"Do you know him?" he asks once they're far enough away from the NYPD contingent. "Beckett, do you know the guy?"</p><p>Although her body is angled away from him, he can see the hesitation in her movement, in the stutter of her steps, the quick rise of her chest.</p><p>"No," she says after a moment. It's unconvincing, and he moves closer into her space.</p><p>"What is it then?"</p><p>She shakes her head. "It's nothing."</p><p>"It isn't nothing," he argues, narrowing his eyes as she avoids looking his way. Something has her spooked and whatever it is, he's going to figure it out. "You usually do the family notifications. Why'd you send Ryan and Esposito?"</p><p>Beckett exhales. "I just wanted to look around here a little more, see if there was anything I could spot. It's a change of pace, Castle. Fresh eyes."</p><p>That would be convincing enough if not for the way she doesn't meet his gaze. The way she flits from one doorway to another, checking the concrete. Her tongue slips over her lip in absentminded thought.</p><p>"Detective Beckett?"</p><p>They turn to find one of the young Unis waiting a few feet away, holding out a folded piece of paper.</p><p>"Dr. Perlmutter found this during his examination."</p><p>Beckett slips gloves over her hands, flexing her fingers carefully before taking the paper and unfolding it. Castle watches her eyes flit over the page, watches the way her jaw clenches, and steps forward to read it, too.</p><p>A familiar nondescript message greets him. It's the same font that he'd read on the pages in Beckett's apartment, the same paper too, he'd guess.</p><p>
  <em>You're going to pay. You, and everyone you've made.</em>
</p><p><em>That</em> is a threat. He waits until she re-folds the paper and hands it back to the Uni with instructions to bag it before turning to her. Questions spring to the tip of his tongue, but he manages to keep them at bay while they have an audience.</p><p>"Tell me, Kate," he insists, holding up a hand when she opens her mouth to protest. "It's something, I know. Tell me everything."</p><p>Her lips purse and her eyes lift skyward in thought, weighing her options. "Not here," she says finally. "Not here."</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Chapter 5</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <strong>never cool down love - Chapter Five</strong>
</p><hr/><p>If her heart could still beat in the regular sense of the word, it would be pounding right now. As it is, she feels the phantom thud against her sternum, the memory of her body's visceral reactions to outside stress.</p><p>And god, she is stressed right now.</p><p>Something had felt off the other day, the day the first note arrived. It had tickled at the edge of her senses, right there at the back of her mind, but she hadn't been able to place it. Now, with Lewis lying on the ground in that alley and a similar threat on his body, it makes a grotesque kind of sense, but it also brings the danger into sharper focus. And every instinct she had tried to ignore, tried to push aside and pretend didn't exist is screaming at her to run. She has to get away, has to protect herself – protect Castle from the inevitable fall-out.</p><p>He's not going to let it go, not now. Not after seeing her reaction in that alley. Of course, she could persuade him. She does have that gift, but it's not something she does to others unless she's out of options (and to be fair if she hadn't used the ability when Castle first started shadowing her to make him go away, using it now when she actually does like him feels even worse somehow). So, if he won't let it drop and she won't force him to leave it alone, she has no other choice; she has to tell him something.</p><p>The entire drive to her place, she considers her options, weighs what she wants to tell him. She could make something up, spin a tale about a case to infiltrate a gang or the mob or a drug ring. He would want to believe a story about being undercover and being "made" that way, but it won't convince him. He knows just enough about the time she spent with Vice as a rookie for it to be a believable enough lie. And that might placate him for a while, but it'll fall apart eventually – when the next note shows up or the next body drops and he puts two and two together and gets five instead of four.</p><p>No, she needs to tell him the truth. Whether she wants to or not.</p><p>"You didn't want to go back to the precinct?" he asks as she leads him into her building.</p><p>Beckett looks around, keeping her eyes open and her eyes trained for anything out of the ordinary. The lobby is quiet as it always is during the days, making her heels echo a little louder as she leads her partner through the open area to the stairs instead of taking the elevator. It's a bit of a stalling tactic, a way to keep from having to look at him and try to gauge exactly how this discussion might go.</p><p>"Not yet," she says, keeping it quick. "I didn't want to do this there."</p><p>He nods, following her to her floor. "What happened?"</p><p>She exhales, closing her hand around the handle to her front door, sliding her key into the lock.</p><p>He moves around her, looking around her entryway. Kate does the same, glancing at the rug under her feet to be sure there's nothing new.</p><p>"You know him," Castle says instead of waiting for her to begin, "the victim."</p><p>She bites her lip, giving him a short nod. "Yeah," she says after a moment. "Yeah, I know him."</p><p>"How? The note was talking about him making people – what does that mean? Making people? Making people do what?"</p><p>Kate licks her lips, clasping her hands in front of her. There's no way this is going to go over well; he's going to think she has lost her mind – sometimes she's still not sure if she hasn't.</p><p>"Castle…" she sighs, looking past him to the couch. "We should sit. Come sit."</p><p>She moves to him, curls her fingers around his arm, giving him a single gentle tug before letting go. "Come sit," she insists again.</p><p>Her partner follows her, looking as uncertain as she feels. It's comforting in a way, the fact that he's serious, no quips, no conspiracy theories. At the same time, the lack of his typical dramatic fanfare makes her stomach churn too.</p><p>"Beckett," he says, breaking her concentration. "Just tell me. Who is that guy and why do you look like you've seen a ghost?"</p><p>A humorless laugh escapes her lips. "Not a ghost."</p><p>"I know, I know, you don't believe in ghosts." He waves a hand. "Tell me."</p><p>"Okay," she exhales, "but you have to listen the whole time. You can't – you just have to listen."</p><p>Her partner nods. "Lips zipped. Whatever it is, Beckett, I'm listening."</p><p>She nods in return, pushing her hair behind her ears. "After my mom died, my dad wasn't doing well; he dealt with all the arrangements, all the paperwork, and then he started to slip away. I was trying so hard to keep it together, but I just couldn't. I went out to blow off some steam and I ended up at a club."</p><p>She swallows. "That's where I met Lewis – the victim we just left."</p><p>Castle opens his mouth once before deciding better off it and motioning for her to continue.</p><p>"He was, god, he had this pull. I was enthralled with him immediately. We danced, we… spent time together," she hedges, seeing her partner's wince. The last thing she wants is for him to get stuck on that detail in this story. "When I went home at the end of the night, he was all I thought about, and so I went back the next night, and the one after that. And there he was, ready to … well, help me."</p><p>She knows she could leave it at that, use the cover of a youthful affair as a reason for her response today, and Castle would accept it (even if he doesn't like it), but if someone is after Lewis – was after Lewis – and that someone is the same person sending her these notes… half a story isn't going to be enough.</p><p>"I was infatuated with him, Castle. He made everything seem so alive," she says, keeping her voice low. Castle leans in, his brow furrowed at her words, where she's taking him. She inhales again, shaking her head at herself; get it over with, just say it. "And when he bit me, it was a rush I'd never imagined."</p><p>"Bit you? Beckett, what-"</p><p>"Please, just let me…" She runs a hand through her hair. "He bit me and at first it was incredible, unlike anything I'd ever experienced, but then it… then it all changed. Everything started to hurt – blinding pain, Castle, it was like my blood had started to boil and I was burning from the inside out."</p><p>Horror fills her partner's face. "What did he do to you? Did he-?"</p><p>She shakes her head quickly, reaching out to rub Castle's arms. Her hands make slow swipes over his sleeves. "No, no. I thought maybe he had drugged me or something. Everything seemed sideways, dim, and when he put his hand over my mouth, I bit him so hard, I drew blood. I blacked out after that."</p><p>His muscles twitch underneath her hands. She swallows at the way his blood pressure increases, the way his anger makes his temperature rise and his skin flush.</p><p>"Beckett, I'm – I'm so sorry. I-"</p><p>She stops him with the circle of her arms, giving him a hug as much as she's taking one for herself; possibly the last hug she'll ever get from him, depending on how he takes her next revelation. Castle's arms band around her waist, his embrace tight and certain, comforting in a way she's not even sure he understands.</p><p>"When I woke up," she continues, speaking into his jacket, "I was… I knew something was different. I felt this gnaw inside, a hunger that was beyond just not having eaten more than a package of crackers in hours. Lewis was there, looking on with this expression I'd never seen from him, and when I asked what he'd done to me, he told me he had changed my life forever."</p><p>Castle's heart pounds against her chest and she shuts her eyes for a moment, just feeling the proof of his life. Letting the waves of his love wash over her.</p><p>"He told me I was feeling the last of my old life slip away, and that I had to let it go if I wanted to survive; I had to embrace everything that was new. And that started with feeding."</p><p>She feels the rumble of the question in his throat before it tumbles from his lips. "Feeding?"</p><p>It takes everything she has, but she steps away from him, dropping her arms down at her sides. The words stick in her mouth, the confession, the revelation. "Castle, he turned me into a vampire."</p><hr/><p>
  <em>Thanks for reading! And for being patient with the wait for this chapter.</em>
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<a name="section0006"><h2>6. Chapter 6</h2></a>
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    <p>
  <strong>never cool down love - Chapter Six</strong>
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  <em>"Castle, he turned me into a vampire."</em>
</p><p>He says nothing at first. Does nothing at first. There's no recoiling in horror, no knee-slapping and congratulating her for pulling one over on him, nothing. He's just blank.</p><p>"Castle?" she prompts after giving him a few minutes to absorb her words, to grasp exactly what it is she has just dropped in his lap. "Castle, say something."</p><p>"You're," he starts. "Are you–I'm, I-"</p><p>To his credit, he doesn't shrink from her touch, doesn't jump away from the hands she wraps around his wrists. He's still too busy staring at her in awe to be scared or concerned or whatever emotions he might be feeling.</p><p>"Breathe," she instructs, lifting her chin and demonstrating a slow inhale and exhale. "Breathe, Castle."</p><p>"Beckett," he says her name like a man drowning. She squeezes his wrists gently, fingers pressed against the pressure points there. "You're serious. You're not messing with me? You're not going to start laughing or bring out the hidden camera crew?"</p><p>She does chuckle a little at that but shakes her head. "I'm telling you the truth, Rick. I – I didn't believe it was real at first, either. I thought Lewis was just some sicko who'd dropped too much acid. I thought he was a liar. I thought so many things, but he'd been telling me the truth. I… I didn't have a real heartbeat anymore, I never had to catch my breath, and no matter what I put in my stomach, I always needed something else."</p><p>"Blood?" he asks. She nods.</p><p>"I can show you the bottom drawer of my freezer if you're not convinced."</p><p>"No, no I believe you. I believe you," he murmurs almost to himself. She can almost feel his mind working. "So, you don't –" he stops himself only to start again, "you don't feed on people?"</p><p>"I don't – I, right when I was new," she says, lowering her eyes. "I made mistakes and I hurt someone, two people. A girl not much older than I was and her boyfriend; I had no idea what I was doing, I wanted nothing to do with Lewis, I had no guidance, and I let myself get too close to the edge and I went over. I haven't done that since. I think about that every day."</p><p>Castle's eyes soften. "Kate."</p><p>She swallows hard. "Don't."</p><p>"You keep all of this to yourself?" he asks, ignoring her directive. She nods. "This is a lot to live with, Kate."</p><p>He wiggles his arms in her grip, catching her hands with his.</p><p>"Who else knows?"</p><p>"Nobody. It's just me and now you. Who else could I tell? Anyone else would have me committed. You're the only one crazy enough to believe in this crap," she adds in an attempt to inject some levity into all of this, her voice cracking on the words; tears prick the corners of her eyes as relief starts to creep its way into her chest.</p><p>He squeezes her hands, reassuring and easy. God, there's nothing normal about this; she's telling him she's barely a person anymore and he's offering her comfort. She sniffs, letting her head dip, letting the weight of what she's told him sink in.</p><p>"When you said something inside you changed after your mom was murdered, you really weren't kidding," he says.</p><p>She snorts. Leave it to Castle to boil things down like that. "Yeah, in more ways than one."</p><p>He thumbs her knuckles. "I have <em>so</em> many questions, Kate. I don't even know where to start."</p><p>"I'd be more worried if you didn't," she says.</p><p>"Our case a couple of years ago, Morlock, he –"</p><p>"Was not a vampire, Castle."</p><p>He nods, considering her words. "Are you sure?"</p><p>"Well, I never see him at the meetings, so I think it's safe to say I'm sure."</p><p>He chuckles. "Duly noted. And that club, the coven?"</p><p>"Just a fetish club," she says. "People playing dress-up and getting off on stereotypes." Her fingers flex in his. "What else?"</p><p>"You mentioned your freezer. That's where you keep your food?"</p><p>She nods. "On the lower shelf there's a fake bottom, it's all in there. I get my blood supply from a guy who runs a blood bank. It's all above board; I pay him, and he uses my money to buy supplies for the clinic. Everything I don't buy goes to hospitals. I'm not… I need it to survive, too, but I'm not going to survive by brutalizing someone else."</p><p>Her partner looks thoughtful. "Have you talked to him lately? Your blood guy, I mean."</p><p>"I called the other day after another note showed up," she admits. "He swears he has nothing to do with it."</p><p>"Do you believe him?"</p><p>She nods, not sure she should elaborate exactly <em>how</em> she knows. Her partner has taken this so well so far, she doesn't want to give him any reason to doubt her or be concerned about her if he's not right now. "I trust his word. If anything, he could end up a casualty in all of this, too."</p><p>"Especially if someone is coming after you because of Lewis," Castle muses. Off her look he adds, "Everyone he's ever made, Beckett. He made you, didn't he?"</p><p>She licks her lips. "He made me," she confirms.</p><p>"Then we need to make sure you're safe, too."</p><p>A smile lifts her lips. He's not running; hell, if anything, he's jumping in deeper, positioning himself with her instead of against her.</p><p>"We need to get back to the precinct. Ryan and Espo are going to wonder where we went."</p><p>Castle squeezes her hand. "We're running down a lead. Grab the notes you've received too; we'll have them analyzed with the one they found on Lewis."</p><p>"They'll know – three of the messages have my name on them."</p><p>"Right. I'll take them to my guy, then. All of them, if you can get the one from today cleared."</p><p>She doesn't know if she can, but it's worth a try to get some information on this person. After so long and handling them, they probably won't get much that's useful DNA-wise, but even if they can confirm a printer or an ink source, that's more to go on than they have now. It'll be a start compared to the endless wheel-spinning she's been doing.</p><p>"Okay," she agrees, humming at the flood of warmth in her chest at the absent kiss he drops on her hand. He's, oh, he's defying every last concern she'd had about telling him. If anything, her confession seems to have made him more affectionate, more enthusiastic about getting closer.</p><p>"Okay," he echoes. "Let's go then. And later today, I think we need to set up surveillance here, too. Either through the department or just us."</p><p>"Just us," she insists quickly. "I can't – bringing anyone else in won't… who's going to believe me when I tell them <em>why</em> this is happening?"</p><p>"So don't tell them. You only have to tell what you need to," he suggests. "You're getting threatening notes, you just want to see if they'll send another one tonight."</p><p>"And if we have the notes analyzed and they're a match to the one on Lewis? Then we're hindering a police investigation and I'm hiding information about myself from people I call my friends. They might never trust me again if they find out, and they especially won't trust me if I bring them in and don't tell them everything. You know that about them, Castle. Esposito especially."</p><p>"Just us, then," he says, bowing his head in concession, "but we're doing this." The conviction in his voice reminds her once again how deeply he loves her. "I don't care if we have two people on this or twenty – though twenty would be nice, if we're being honest – but someone's coming for you, Kate, and we need to know who."</p><hr/><p>
  <em>Thank you for reading! Just one more chapter to go.</em>
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<a name="section0007"><h2>7. Chapter 7</h2></a>
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    <p>
  <strong>never cool down love - Chapter Seven</strong>
</p><hr/><p>She finds herself back in nearly the same position a few hours later, sitting with Castle in her living room while they discuss their strategy for the night. The case is all-but stalled waiting on information about Lewis that they're likely not going to find, and she feels a sliver of guilt for keeping the boys in the dark about the secondary aspect of the investigation – the one she and Castle are running right now, thanks to the friend he has at an AV store who let him swoop in and "borrow" some surveillance equipment.</p><p>They've set up a camera at her door that captures traffic from both sides of the hall and hidden another series of video recorders at each of the entrances to her building (she'll just have to hope none of the other residents notice), making a basecamp on her coffee table. With any luck, they'll pick up something, a face, a courier, anything that might give them a clue as to the identity of her "admirer," instead of unnecessarily spying on her neighbors for the next eight to ten hours. Castle seems almost sure that they will, based on the level of escalation, but she's not so sure.</p><p>"Okay, I think that's it," Castle says, plugging the last of the monitors in and dusting his hands off. "Make you some coffee?" His brow furrows. "You can drink coffee?"</p><p>Kate rolls her eyes. "You've seen me drink coffee hundreds of times, Castle. I can eat or drink anything I want; I taste it, I enjoy it, I just don't get nourishment from it anymore."</p><p>"You didn't get nourishment from gummi bears and coffee before, you know," he points out, grinning at her laugh. He claps his hands. "I'll make coffee."</p><p>"Thanks," she says, watching his back as he moves to the kitchen and makes himself at home. How he's so calm about all of this, any of this, she has no idea. She would be a wreck if she were in his shoes.</p><p>She bites her lip, unsure if she should bring it up. "You okay?" she asks after a minute of deliberation.</p><p>Castle's head bobs, a little quickly for her tastes, but she doesn't call him on it. "I'm good, Beckett. I'm… good."</p><p>"It's okay if you're not, you know. I wasn't good for a long time."</p><p>He exhales, looking up from the coffee maker – hers is nothing fancy compared to the one at his place but he still treats it with the same level of care. "I just keep thinking that if I didn't know before, how much does it change now?"</p><p>"A lot?" she offers, incredulous. "For one, I would expect you to be crowing about how you <em>told</em> me the supernatural was real. For two – you," she stops the next thought before it can emerge.</p><p>He had told her he loves her when she was lying on the grass in May, how does this <em>not</em> change that?</p><p>But they don't talk about these things, they never have, and his one attempt had led to her kicking him out last year.</p><p>"Does it change anything for you, now that I know?" he asks, leaning on his elbows, his gaze unwavering.</p><p>"I – no," she says. "It's a relief, to be honest. But it's different for you – you've got your mom and Alexis, and your entire life… this is big."</p><p>"I won't tell them," he promises. "I'll keep your secret as long as you want and need me to."</p><p>"I know you will, Castle, and it's not that. It's… this is my life. Not just for the next few years, not just for the next few decades, it's forever. I'll get older – I've gotten older, as you might notice I don't look like I'm nineteen anymore – but it'll happen slower than it does for everyone else. And eventually the people I know will notice, and I'll… I don't know what I'll do then. Go somewhere, I guess? Start again? And it'll be that way forever."</p><p>He looks back at the coffeemaker, turning his full focus to that long enough to put the finishing touches on her mug and start his.</p><p>"Forever shouldn't have to be so lonely, Kate," he says, carrying her coffee over and holding it out. Kate takes it carefully, putting it aside for the moment. "This – knowing you're a real-life sexy vampire – changes <em>nothing</em> for me."</p><p>She searches his face, taking in the warmth in his eyes, the subtle flush of his cheeks. His heart has started to beat a little harder as he makes his case. He's telling her the truth.</p><p>"Besides the fact that I'm definitely going to have to get that implant now so I can live longer with you."</p><p>She catches his hand before he can return to the kitchen, getting to her feet and standing toe to toe with him. Without her shoes, she has a little more distance to cover, but she doesn't have to crane her neck too far to dust her mouth over his and hope.</p><p>His hand slips from hers, but it's not to pull away or reject her. His arm winds around her back, bringing her closer to his chest as his lips part beneath hers.</p><p>He tastes just like she remembers, sweet with the subtle hint of the breath mints he loves to pop throughout the day. He tastes like fire and life, and the joy she's sought for so long, through tragedy and pain, even through death.</p><p>"I love you," she confesses against his mouth, slipping her hand up his back. "I love you."</p><p>Castle hisses at her confession, pressing his mouth to hers with a fervor she can finally understand before gentling the kiss and resting his forehead on hers. He gulps in a breath, cupping her cheeks and taking another soft kiss from her lips before he responds,</p><p>"I love you, too."</p><p>Kate feels herself grin.</p><p>His heart thuds beneath her fingers in a steady, intoxicating tap of celebration. She finds herself counting the beats, allowing the rhythm to lull her, calm her.</p><p>It's that clarity that helps her hear the soft brush – masked as it is – of approaching footsteps in the hallway. Her eyes dart to the monitor just in time to see a figure in a hood stop at her door.</p><p>"Castle," she hisses. "They're outside."</p><p>For a man whose hands were in her hair just a few minutes ago, he moves across the apartment with surprising speed, giving her time to pull her gun from the coffee table and make her way into position.</p><p>"One," he mouths, reaching for the handle. She nods, getting into position. "Two."</p><p>He yanks the door open on three, exposing her startled visitor. The paper in their hand flutters to the ground as they jump.</p><p>"NYPD," Beckett barks, "drop whatever you have and put your hands on your head."</p><p>Of course, her order goes unheeded. They lunge her way, swinging wildly. Kate catches a glimpse of a blade in their hand and wonders if she's been off the mark; someone coming for a vampire would know that knives just piss them off – they hurt, yes, but they don't kill.</p><p>Thankfully even in the small space, she's able to dodge, trusting her partner to jump in with his usual resourceful help. She's not disappointed either, Castle sticks out his foot, sending her would-be attacker tumbling to the ground.</p><p>"You're an idiot," they seethe in Castle's direction as she kicks the knife out of their hand and jerks their arms behind their back. "Do you know what she is? She has to be stopped before she kills someone! They all have to be stopped!"</p><p>Castle squats, leaning within a foot of their suspect. "She's a cop, and you're under arrest for harassment and assault of a police officer, and if we're really, really lucky, the murder of Lewis Barrington as well."</p><p>Beckett pulls their hood down, revealing a thin-faced young man with wild eyes. He's barely older than Alexis, mid-twenties at most, and her stomach lurches.</p><p>"Lewis Barrington had it coming," they spit. "Every last one of you monsters have it coming."</p><p>"If you know about me, you know I'm not like him, or any of the other people he's turned," she says, feeling her throat tighten. God, how many people had he turned by now? How many others had he tricked into this life?</p><p>"You're all the same, one way or another. When it comes down to it, we're all just lambs to your slaughter." He turns back to Castle. "She'll kill you, too, if she has half a chance."</p><p>Rick shakes his head. "No, she won't. She's a victim, too. What's your name, buddy?"</p><p>"David."</p><p>"Who did Lewis take from you, David?"</p><p>The man – boy, really – tries to stand firm, he does, but his face crumples a moment later, and his voice cracks on two words, "My sister. That bastard pulled her into his cult and used her until she was gone. Until she was a monster, too."</p><p>David clears his throat, his eyes hardening once more. "They have to die – really die – all of them."</p><p>Castle shakes his head. "That's not going to happen. I'm – we're both sorry for what your family went through, but this isn't the way to honor your sister's memory."</p><p>"Fuck honor. Honor doesn't bring her back. It doesn't bring Emily back."</p><p>Kate shuts her eyes for a moment, understanding that desperation and anger all too well. "Neither does revenge. Now get up, you're under arrest. You have the right to remain silent, and I highly suggest you do that."</p><p>She hauls the boy to his feet, keeping a firm hand on his wrists. "Castle, can you-?" she motions to the knife and the belongings they'll need at the precinct after she finishes Mirandizing David.</p><p>"On it," her partner says, jogging over to take care of it while she holds David.</p><p>Castle returns a moment later, brushing her shoulder with his hand. She exhales, slipping her feet into the shoes he drops for her and taking the jacket he holds out.</p><p>"Let's go," she says once they're ready, already steeling herself for more of David's angry ranting, for having to deny all of it in front of her colleagues at the precinct.</p><p>"You okay?" Castle asks as they haul the boy down to her car, keeping his voice low. She nods quickly, lifting her head to offer him a faint smile. "You know he doesn't know anything about you or who you are, Kate. But I do."</p><p>Her hand brushes his once David is secured in the backseat.</p><p>"Yeah, I know," she says. "And I will be - okay, that is."</p><p>Her partner nods. "Good."</p><p>"You okay?" she asks, watching him nod. "Good. And um… once we're done at the precinct… do you think you'll want to come back here?" she asks, raking her teeth over her lip. "I can answer more of your questions or… something."</p><p>Castle grins, stepping into her space and pressing his mouth to hers once more, his kiss biting and sharp. A delicious promise of everything that's to come.</p><p>"Oh, I definitely want that."</p><hr/><p>
  <strong>
    <em>"e'en Earth can never cool down love"</em>
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  <strong>-The Bride of Corinth by Johann Wolfgang von Goethe</strong>
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  <em>Thank you all for reading! I hope you've enjoyed this story. It was a departure in a way from my usual, and I was a little nervous and a lot excited to step outside my comfort zone again, and I'm really happy with how it turned out.</em>
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  <em>Be well, everyone. Stay safe and healthy.</em>
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  <em>Until next time.</em>
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